MAKE YOUR WELCOME TO GAY, LESBIAN, BI-SEXUAL, AND TRANSGENDER (GLBT) FOLKS...GENUINE AND EFFECTIVE!

PERSONAL AND PARISH PREPARATION

1. Study scriptures involved in the homosexuality debate
   • Six passages appear to condemn homosexual behavior (Lev.18:22;Lev.20:13;Deut.23;17;1 Kings 14:24;Rom.1:26-27;1Cor.6:9)
   • Seven passages appear to condemn heterosexual behavior (1Cor.6:9-10;1Tim.1:10;Lev.18:6-20;Lev.19:29;Lev.20: 10-12;Deut.5:18-21;Deut.22;22-30)
   • Many other things are deemed an abomination - adultery, incest, clothing and mixed fibers, shellfish (Lev. 20:10; Lev. 11:10-12;Lev. 18:6-20:Deut. 5: 18-21; Deut. 22:22-30)
   • Learn about different ways scripture is interpreted and used to shape public opinion
   • Despite different interpretations, one thing Biblical scholars agree on...Jesus said nothing at all about homosexuality.
   
   
2. Study scriptures that look at the big picture
   • "For God so loved the world that God gave his only Son, that everyone who believes in Jesus may not perish but have everlasting life."(John 3:16)
   • "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."(Exodus 20:16 & Exodus 23:1-3)
   • "You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free."(John 8:32)
   • Learn about "resident aliens", and the year of jubilee (Lev. 25 & 26)."When you reap the harvest of the land, you shall not reap to the very edges of your fields...you shall leave them to the poor and the alien: I am the Lord your God." (Lev. 19:9-10)
   • "Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of my family, you did it to me...for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me...".(Matt. 25:40b-45)
   • "Which commandment in the Law is the greatest? Jesus replied, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." (Luke 22:36-40)
   
   
3. Study and live into the Baptismal covenant
   • What does it mean to respect the dignity of every human being? What does it mean to strive for justice and peace? How does our covenant empower us to take action on behalf of and together with GLBT folk?
   
   
4. Revisit your parish mission statement
   • Do you have one? Does it need to be revised? Does it address issues of welcome for all of God's people?
   
   
5. Identify leadership and processes of creating change in the parish
   • What resources are present? What potential obstacles are present? What are people's fears? Work to educate and create a safe, open place where dialogue can happen.
     
6. Explore your neighbor's GLBT world. Assume you are a traveler to another culture. Learn the nuances of GLBT culture, history, vocabulary, issues.
   • Read, read, read...Could you pass a test on famous GLBT persons and their contributions to society? Are you aware of past and present GLBT authors and their works and how they have shaped the GLBT and straight world?
   • Learn about the Church's past and present persecution of gays. Become familiar with the "witchhunts, Nazi persecution, "sodomy raids", employment discrimination, gay-bashing, and homophobic rhetoric from the religious right extremists and their political agendas.
   • Discover the importance of the Stone-Wall riots and the development of the modern gay pride movement. Attend a Pride event (typically held in the last week in June).
   • Eat dinner and/or have a drink in a GLBT bar. Notice your feelings. Do you feel uncomfortable as a minority in a GLBT space? Are you anxious anticipating a same-sex person might be attracted to you? Are you offended when a same-sex person is not interested? What do you feel when you observe touching/tenderness among same-sex persons?
   • Look at even the "most offensive" publications and ask what they are telling about human thirst and need. Reflect on how our sexuality/lust is a form of our desire for intimacy with others and with God.
   • Cultivate a genuine friendship with a GLBT person. Focus on building trust. Anticipate and celebrate being in a relationship with another human being who laughs, cries, struggles, and works to have a life just like you do.
   • Be Gay-For-A-Day. Take several days to make a spiritual retreat, or even a four hour block of time to identify yourself as gay and experience what a gay person may encounter when they move from invisibility to visibility. Here's a challenge...go somewhere far enough away that you have some anonymity. Be a mall shopper, attend a church convention/assembly with a tasteful badge or GLBT T-shirt that clearly identifies you as "Lesbian", "Gay", "Bisexual", or "Transgendered". Pray for those who look away. Bless those who persecute/abuse you. Ponder these things in your heart.
   • Pray, pray, pray. Never underestimate your ability to change the world by first changing your own heart. Adopt the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi (BCP p.833). Focus on becoming a peacemaker and reconciler. As painful as it may be to accept, recognize that as a member of the Church, you are a member of a group of a group that has and continues to oppress. Give thanks for God's forgiveness and embrace the Good News that on both an individual and systemic level, you can be an agent of reconciliation. Help the Church admit that it has created a hostile environment and has harmed God's children. Personally and publicly acknowledging the Church's part, allows those who are harmed, and their stories of pain to be honored and healed.
   • Pray for wholeness in your own soul and in your own body. Touch your flesh, thank God for your sexuality, whatever it may be. do not assume that because you have not explored your own sexuality, that you have a "safe plastic card" confirming your identity as heterosexual. Realize that many GLBT folk spend a portion of their lives married before they figure it out, if they ever do figure it out. Pray for singles and families.
   • Pray for tenderness of heart that you might have the ability to love "the other." Pray for the vision of imagine what it might be like to be an outcast.
   • As one of our GLBT friends says "Pray that the fairy may touch you with a magic wand and awaken in you mystery, wonder, uncertainty, and beauty you never dreamed possible." "Pray that the lesbian will gird you with her strength".
   • Encourage congregational support in prayer and action about events important to the GLBT community.

PERSONAL AND PARISH ACTION STEPS

1. GLBT folk are used to looking for familiar, friendly symbols to identify safe spaces
   • Fly a rainbow flag outdoors
   • Place stickers on bulletin board i.e. "Hate Is Not a Family Value", "Love Makes A Family".
   • Wear the button "Straight but not Narrow" as part of your name tag/greeter identification. Wear this button as a piece of jewelry wherever you are.
   • Put "GLBT PERSONS WELCOME HERE!" on bulletins, mission statements, newsletters, phone and newspaper ads, and all signage.
   
   
2. Provide youth and adult Christian education programs.
   • Do a sexuality program that is age appropriate.
   • Invite GLBT folk to speak to you in forums and preaching.
   • Invite unchurched GLBT persons to present their views. Make it clear that they don't have to be Christian or conform to your expectations. Listen lovingly to their comments. Pray for reconciliation.
   • Discuss gender as well as sexuality. Anticipate that you may be visited by persons in drag who may "test" you/"be in your face" to see if you are about the type of love you claim to be about.
   
   
3. Provide sacramental connections and liturgical alternatives
   • Do same-sex couples and their families have access to the Lord's table as a family?
   • Has the parish done its homework in the area of discussing same-sex unions? Would your clergy and/or congregation support the use of your facility for gay members of your congregation? For those outside your congregation?
   
   
4. Advertise within your parish and beyond
   • Host GLBT potlucks. Be aware that not everyone is "out". It takes time to develop a safe space and a consistent reputation. For this reason GLBT folk may not want to associate with supposedly gay-friendly straight people. Occasionally providing "GLBT only" space allows GLBT folks to relax.
   • Offer space for office work and/or meetings
     • P-Flag (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) often needs a place to hold educational forums for the community
     • AIDS volunteer organizations may need a place to coordinate ministry from or a location to collect food & clothing
     • Host an Integrity eucharist and/or invite a group from Integrity to join you for worship some Sunday
     • Offer meeting space to GLBT 12-step programs.
   • Place an ad in a GLBT publication. Be sure you can honestly provide what you're advertising.
   • Develop an affirmative GLBT flyer and put it, in bulk, in gay and lesbian bars.
   • Participate in sponsoring a booth at Gay Pride events. Staff with fun-loving people.
   • March in Gay Pride parades.
   
   
5. Approaching GLBT folks
   • Do not ask if someone is "married".
   • Be friendly. Remember not everyone is "out" or they may be "out" but aren't sure of the environment they are in.
   • Sometimes GLBT folk fear "guilt-by-association" and may not want you to indicate that you think they "are" GLBT.
   • Once it becomes clear that a GLBT person is in a relationship, feel free to ask "what did you and your partner (use the partner's name) do over the weekend, holiday, on your vacation?
   • In the church directory/mailing list, list gay life partners together if they choose.
   • Invite gay couples to church events. As new members are introduced to the congregation, introduce gay couples as a couple. Do the same at coffee hour or in other social situations.
   • After learning a partner's name, file it away in the same place you file the names of heterosexual's spouses. Use first names. It is mildly insulting to be asked, "And how's your partner?"
   • Think of your GLBT friends, their partners, families, and companion animals as families which enjoy the same activities and share the same stresses as your own. Try to debunk the "it's a lifestyle" myth, by seeing GLBT people as human being like yourself.
   • Speak out when you hear anti-gay or lesbian jokes. Let others know you don't find them funny because you have GLBT family/friends.
   • Extend the same type of affection to GLBT folks as you usually do to others.
   • Realize that GLBT people are aware that it may be awkward for everyone. Your efforts are appreciated!

Scriptural citations from The New Revised Standard version 1991

© 1997 The Rev. Gayle M. Marsh
for GLBT Ministries of the Episcopal Diocese of Minnesota

revised in 2003

All rights reserved. this document may be reproduced in its entirety for educational purposes only with copyright citation attached.